The storm

Swim with the stream, not against it, I remembered them say.
And when I saw this terribly frightening storm come towards me,
I remembered.

I remembered to not hold up against it, but to instead open up to it.
I opened my arms and let the storm in; it whirled me up a bit and I
was scared, for a second, but then it saw that there was nothing to
gain, that I was gladly welcoming everything that hurt, and daringly
facing the dark monster in the clouds.

And so the storm moved on, it passed right through me, it couldn’t
find anything to feed its power. And although it was painful, for a while,
I was able to move on with my day, until the next wave would come, and
that was okay. I hadn’t resisted this time.

When you grow up

When you grow up, you are taught how to perceive the world and how to perceive yourself. You are taught to trust or mistrust yourself. And so you keep growing and then there is a moment as a young adult, when you suddenly realize that all you have learned, when you were younger, is not necessarily true. And your whole world (view) starts to shatter. It is an opportunity, and at the same time sometimes you will want to crawl back into bed and just make the pain go away. You will want to try to deny that what you always thought to be true. Is not that valid anymore. It is hard to peel off that old and so well-known skin, because after all, it still seems quite comfortable. It is you. But you know that it still itches and you realize, that there is no way back, that you will have to unpeel and start to grow in new and different ways. You know that these ways will be better, but also, it hurts. It hurts so much. And it is exhausting. You will want to quit. You will want to just accept that you are who you are and you should maybe just accept who you are. And there will be days when you feel shitty, and it is not your fault. It is nobody‘s fault because that‘s how the world works. It is not good nor bad, nor black or white. It is much more complex and we just cannot see because our vision is so blurry from all the societal fog. But you know what, it can change, you can change, but what you need is patience, trust and care for yourself. Accept your feelings and embrace the mornings with as much optimism as the evenings. Don‘t waste your life pretending to not hear what the world has to offer to you. Listen carefully to how you feel and embrace the beauty and pain within you. And ignore how others want to make you feel and think.

Entschuldigung

Und plötzlich bemerkte ich,
dass der Herbst sich langsam angeschlichen hatte.
Gestern noch schienen die Sonnenstrahlen
mich so herzlich zu umarmen,
doch das Blatt hat sich gewendet.
Die richtigen Leute,
das richtige Leben,
was ist “richtig”?
Emotionen,
ein heißer Kochtopf.
Wer war ich noch einmal?
Wer bin ich und wer möchte ich sein?
Es ist bunt. Das Laub. Die Bäume.
Die Stimmung.
Entschuldigung, sagte ich,
aber wofür?
Dass ich lebe?
Dass ich so bin, wie ich bin?
Ich sehe Blätter fallen.
Ihre Zeit ist gekommen. Aber trotz des Falles,
so begeben sie sich nur auf eine neue Reise,
erfüllen einen neuen Sinn.
Die Sonne hat sich nun gegen die Wolken behauptet.
Sie scheint. Sie scheint als ob sie mir sagen will,
dass es Zeit ist aufzustehen.
Dass es Zeit ist die Rolle zu wechseln,
vom Zuschauer im Verborgenen,
nach draußen in die Natur,
dorthin wo alles angefangen hat,
ganz ohne Entschuldigungen.

About strength

What is strength,
I always wondered.
Never giving up, he said.
Never giving in, she said.

Growing up
we do not have a choice.
We are born the way we are
and yet all too often,
we are punished for just that.

So in fact,
the only choice we have
is to make use of the only thing
that’s truly ours,
our mind,
our soul.

So instead of letting them put on even bigger chains,
let’s start to pretend
that none of these are real.
How do you break them?
With strength and force,
someone would say.
Exactly.

Do you know what strength is?
It is maybe the least physical thing there is.
So use it,
use yours
to unchain yourself
and finally start to fly.