You are still here.
I breathe you
In and out
It gets better.
You are still here
A steady companion
Asking for insights to be gained
Are you a friendly helper?
Is there a message to this?
Do what feels good
Notice there is no real threat.
Breathe in and out
I don’t love you any less.
If you are lost, my friend, read. Read as much as you can. Open your heart and mind to the thousands of worlds that have been crafted, the millions of pieces of knowledge that are meant to be shared, that want to help and guide you on your way to discovery of who you are —what it is that you want to get out of this precious present life you got?
A dance, two spirits—
push and pull.
don‘t know each other well
enough just yet. Can you hear
the stars flickering in eternal
But these spirits, these souls,
they are as much here as they
are there; they are as much
as they are just so much alike.
A beautiful illusion, this life,
this dance where we’re already
Fear. I am not afraid
of anything but you and what
you represent to me.
To fear you means to abandon
me for the sake of others. It
means to clip my wings so they
can be attached to somebody else.
And as much as I enjoy being helpful
and supportive, it does cause me to slowly
die inside if boundaries remain unseen.
Afraid to live, afraid to die—a vicious cycle
that will never end
unless I attach those wings back onto myself.
And as the mist covered what laid ahead beyond that bridge, I thought about my future and felt that the scenery was quite a good representational of how I felt about it.
Swim with the stream, not against it, I remembered them say.
And when I saw this terribly frightening storm come towards me,
I remembered to not hold up against it, but to instead open up to it.
I opened my arms and let the storm in; it whirled me up a bit and I
was scared, for a second, but then it saw that there was nothing to
gain, that I was gladly welcoming everything that hurt, and daringly
facing the dark monster in the clouds.
And so the storm moved on, it passed right through me, it couldn’t
find anything to feed its power. And although it was painful, for a while,
I was able to move on with my day, until the next wave would come, and
that was okay. I hadn’t resisted this time.
I just want to read and write
Read and write
All days and nights
All summer and winters
During rain or sunlight
During morning or evening
I want to read and write
And live and love life in between,
That’s all I want
All I want.
I guess there was nothing left to say
But thank you for the visit.
When you grow up, you are taught how to perceive the world and how to perceive yourself. You are taught to trust or mistrust yourself. And so you keep growing and then there is a moment as a young adult, when you suddenly realize that all you have learned, when you were younger, is not necessarily true. And your whole world (view) starts to shatter. It is an opportunity, and at the same time sometimes you will want to crawl back into bed and just make the pain go away. You will want to try to deny that what you always thought to be true. Is not that valid anymore. It is hard to peel off that old and so well-known skin, because after all, it still seems quite comfortable. It is you. But you know that it still itches and you realize, that there is no way back, that you will have to unpeel and start to grow in new and different ways. You know that these ways will be better, but also, it hurts. It hurts so much. And it is exhausting. You will want to quit. You will want to just accept that you are who you are and you should maybe just accept who you are. And there will be days when you feel shitty, and it is not your fault. It is nobody‘s fault because that‘s how the world works. It is not good nor bad, nor black or white. It is much more complex and we just cannot see because our vision is so blurry from all the societal fog. But you know what, it can change, you can change, but what you need is patience, trust and care for yourself. Accept your feelings and embrace the mornings with as much optimism as the evenings. Don‘t waste your life pretending to not hear what the world has to offer to you. Listen carefully to how you feel and embrace the beauty and pain within you. And ignore how others want to make you feel and think.
Und plötzlich bemerkte ich,
dass der Herbst sich langsam angeschlichen hatte.
Gestern noch schienen die Sonnenstrahlen
mich so herzlich zu umarmen,
doch das Blatt hat sich gewendet.
Die richtigen Leute,
das richtige Leben,
was ist “richtig”?
ein heißer Kochtopf.
Wer war ich noch einmal?
Wer bin ich und wer möchte ich sein?
Es ist bunt. Das Laub. Die Bäume.
Entschuldigung, sagte ich,
Dass ich lebe?
Dass ich so bin, wie ich bin?
Ich sehe Blätter fallen.
Ihre Zeit ist gekommen. Aber trotz des Falles,
so begeben sie sich nur auf eine neue Reise,
erfüllen einen neuen Sinn.
Die Sonne hat sich nun gegen die Wolken behauptet.
Sie scheint. Sie scheint als ob sie mir sagen will,
dass es Zeit ist aufzustehen.
Dass es Zeit ist die Rolle zu wechseln,
vom Zuschauer im Verborgenen,
nach draußen in die Natur,
dorthin wo alles angefangen hat,
ganz ohne Entschuldigungen.