In silence

I like silence.
And serenity.
Stillness. Being calm.
No talking.
No competing.
No … nothing.
Just being, here.
Listening to the wind.
Hearing the ocean in the distance,
Even if miles away.
I like this peace that comes upon us,
When we stop.
When we … just stop.
I like the silence.
But most of all,
I like this silence together with you.

Grandpa and grandma

I smell it.
Especially now,
that I sit here
and become aware of my presence.
It is a sweet smell,
humid,
it is rain.
Rarely have I smelled something more intense,
and beautiful.
Rain drops falling.
Manny of them.
Lights are creating a soft tickle on my skin,
the room looks cozy.
Slow music is playing,
the song reflects the moment I am in.
Right now.
I just sit.
My back hurts.
It has been hurting for days.
Stressed. Tense.
But I am so happy.
Content.
Present.
I am present.
Because I love
everything around me.
The green. The nature. The trees in front of my window.
The weather. Sunny. And then sad and hopeless.
The same way the world is sometimes.
People are so friendly.
So much possibility lies ahead of us.
Surrounded by so much creativity.
After such a long search. Such a long hunt.
I end up not having what I always wanted so dearly.
And yet, I sit here with pure joy.
I wasn’t ready. And maybe I am not still.
But I appreciate it now, that journey.
I feel my old self, and I am glad I made it, to the other side.
What hurts most, is that you are missing.
Grandpa, grandma. I wish I could tell you about all that.
I miss you so. No day passes where I don’t think about you.
You are not dead. You showed me love and I will never forget.

A lifetime

I don’t know! – she shouts.
He looks at her.
She stares back.
Silence.
A drop of sweat falls to the ground.
The hair on her neck starts to stand up.
Still. They glance at each other.
Nobody moves.
Her finger, she lifts it
and touches his hand.
He shrinks back for a second,
but then he cannot resist.
Seventy years of life have they shared,
and they just cannot stay mad at each other for long.

5 am

[…] We dance, it’s great, it’s like there is nothing wrong with this world,
no pain within and between us. Just joy,
and love, and kisses. It’s addictive.
We go home, make love, love, love.
We fall asleep, it must be 5 am already, but then again
who cares about the time.

Goosebumps

Goosebumps
the appearance of one more body in that room
the heat that rises to my head
a look
he returns it
playing cool is the human way to react
it is tough to hide a chemistry
an attraction
it’s puzzling
it doesn’t seem moral
but how can a matter of the heart be unmoral
the mystery about not knowing
‘el amor sin pecado es como el huevo sin sal’
there is a reason
and there shall be no guilt
I cannot stop
images repeat in my mind
the look in your eyes
and the moments we meet
what am I supposed to do
will I wait until I meet someone like you again
just in a better moment
and with more courage
or will I risk all at once.